Pleasure Pains
by JayBee-Bug
Summary: Spike finds a loophole for Mr. Chip. Wackiness ensues. B/S.
1. Default Chapter

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Title: Pleasure Pains

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Author: JayBee

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Rating: R for language and mention of adult situations

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Category: Buffy/Spike 'ship

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Setting/Spoilers: Post-"Crush"

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Summary: Spike finds a loophole for Mr. Chip. Wackiness ensues.

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Feedback: R&R and I'll be your friend FOREVER :oD jaybee_bug@yahoo.com

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Distribution Statement: Sharing fanfic makes the world go 'round. :) Just make sure my name & e-mail stay attached and drop me a line if you can.

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Disclaimer: All together now! Joss Whedon owns Buffy and friends, doo-dah, doo-dah. Joss Whedon owns Buffy and friends, Oh-doo-dah-day. 

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Dedication: Thanx goes out to Pandora for helping me get unstuck from my writer's block. ;)

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A/N: In my world, there's no Glory, nobody's mum has died, and Spike's … ohwait, nevermind, Spike's already perfect. *grin*

Ahem. The library is owned by Giles like in the old seasons even though this takes place in S5. And the training room is connected to it. That's all ya need to know.

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__

You make me sick   
I want you and I'm hatin' it   
Got me lit like a candlestick   
Get too hot when you touch the tip   
I'm feelin' it   
I've gotta get a grip   
And it's drivin' me crazy   
Baby don't you quit   
Can't get enough of it   
You got me goin' again   
Baby, you got me goin' again   
You make me sick – Pink, "You Make Me Sick"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**__**

Part One

Andrew Snyder wanted nothing more than to crawl into a crack in the floor and croak. 

He gazed desolately around the slummy, poorly lit bar he was in. The young man had just broken up with his girlfriend and was feeling crappier than he ever had in his entire life. 

He would have committed suicide, but he really didn't have the balls to. So instead he came here to try and drink away his woes, like so many other people were doing. 

It wasn't working, though. Even though he was well drunk by now, the seething pain still burned just as fiercely inside him. Nothing seemed to work. 

As the bartender passed, Andrew tapped his glass, and mumbled, "Gimmie another one, "

The bartender gave him a suspicious look as he glanced at the row of empty shot glasses Andrew had collected. "Don't gimme that 'you've had enough' crap, please. Not tonight. "

The bartender sighed in admission. "Right, sure. Just don't go threatenin' to rip my throat out like that other bloke, " he grunted as he shuffled off to get the drink. 

Andrew looked about at the bartender's statement, and spotted the guy he must have been referring to. 

Sitting two stools away was a guy with a collection of empty shot glasses that could put Andrew's number to shame. He couldn't see his face, because he was slumped over, nursing a half-glass of alcohol, but his bleached hair made him hard to miss. 

The bartender was working his way around with drinks, and set Andrew's drink in front of him. Andrew watched as he moved on to carefully set down another by his neighbor. 

The guy hardly even looked up to acknowledge him, just kept gazing into his half-empty glass. 

Then he seemed to snap out of his daze, and downing the rest of the glass in his hand, snatched up the new glass to down as well. He tapped the glass on the bar. 

"N'other, " he mumbled. 

The bartender looked nervous. "Ah…"

"I _said_, " the guy growled, leaning on the bar to glare with venomous blue eyes, 

"_Another_. "

The bartender, of course, moved off quickly to do his bidding. 

Andrew downed his own drink, deciding that maybe number 32 was his lucky number. 

Many hours and many, many drinks later, Andrew decided to give up. The world was fuzzy and spindling, but the pain was as clear as a photograph. 

He glanced back over to his neighbor, who seemed to have called it quits as well, with the same disappointing results. 

"Musta been some bitch that screwed you over so good, " Andrew mumbled practically incoherently. He was surprised to see the guy next to him actually heard. He glanced up with very drifting looking eyes. 

"Yeah, " he agreed. "Definitely some bitch. "

Andrew nodded in understanding. "Me too, " he said, 

"They say you can forget when you drink. Dulls the pain. "

The guy chuckled. 

"It used to work for me, you know. Not this time, " Andrew said, shaking his head. 

"This time . . . it hurts just as much as when I started. "

The guy was slowly turning an empty glass in his fingers, gazing into it, as if it held the secrets to the world in there. 

"Nah. If a girl screws you up bad enough, not even the good bottle is your friend anymore. " He said, with a slurring British accent. 

Andrew stared blankly across the room, his drifting mind mulling things over. They say drinking confuses a man, but sometimes it felt like it gave Andrew sudden clarity in his thinking. He suddenly understood. 

"There's nothing left, that's why. When you don't got a drop left in you, not even a notion of a reason left for livin'. Nothing for drinkin' to bring out for you. "

The guy seemed to not hear him, or at least wasn't paying attention, because he was still hypnotized by his shot glass. But Andrew didn't care, he was busy rambling. 

"The only thing left is the pain. That's all you're livin' for. "

His foggy mind made a connection. 

"Hey, that sounds like a good idea. You do me a favor, will ya? " he asked. The guy looked back up at him. 

"Just slug me 'cross the face, yeah? If you can black me out that'd be even better. "

The guy sighed, seemingly amused by his request. "Sorry, pal. I don't do those kinds of favors. "

"C'mon, man, have a little mercy for a guy. It's not that hard. "

"You don't get it. I really don't do those things. I'd love to, really-"

Spike stopped in mid-sentence, the drunkard still watching him expectedly. 

"Oh, what the hell, " he said, changing his mind. "I could use a bit of pain too. "

So he brought his fist back and slugged the guy hard in the jaw, causing him to topple backwards off his stool. He grit his teeth and waited for the searing pain to come afterwards. 

The people in the bar hardly seemed to give the commotion a sideways glance. The only person concerned over it was the bartender shuffling over. 

"Hey, " he barked at the jackass who had been trying to drink him out of home that night. But the guy was just staring blankly at the drunkard he just punched out. 

"It didn't hurt, " Spike was saying with complete shock. "It didn't hurt! "

The bartender laughed. "Probably sure as hell hurt him, " he said, glancing at the guy knocked out on the floor. "It's time you moved along now. "

Spike allowed the bartender to lead him to the door, too dazed and surprised to react. 

It didn't hurt? 

Well. This changes everything. 

--------------------------------------------------------

Buffy Summers grit her teeth together, creating a creaky sound similar to fingernails on a chalkboard. In made her wince but she didn't care-- she was sick of this. 

Page after page of tedious, repetitive math homework-- Jesus! Did they _want_ her to go insane? 

As if she didn't have _enough_ to worry about-- already behind in her English paper, her being the world's only sole hope for protection from evil, her sister who wouldn't just *scram* and let her work, oh, and her arch enemy whom she loathed just declared his love for her . . .

Well, those are not listed in any particular order, mind you . . .

But to top it all off, the math teacher decided that today was the day to assign extra work on dividing fractions. 

Buffy gazed out the window with disdain. Such a beautiful day, too. She should be spending it relaxing, hanging out with her friends or whatever. She didn't deserve this. 

"Dawn, amscray! I got a lot of work to do. " Buffy snapped when her sister had drifted into the room again. She shot her a deadly look. 

"It's a free country. I'll come in here if I want. "

Buffy sighed with irritation, deciding she probably should move her work into her room again rather than the living room. She just had gotten so stuffy up there, and needed the change of scenery . . .

"Dawn, please, this is imperative for my math grade. " Buffy tried to reason with her. 

Her sister snorted, and plopped down on the couch. 

Ugh. If only she could come up with a de-invite spell on _her_ . . .

Wait. No-- don't even mention anything close to _him. _Buffy was ticked off enough as it is. Didn't need to add any fuel to the fire. 

"You're not even _doing_ math, " her sister commented snippily. Buffy glanced at Dawn and then to her math paper. 

True, she had started to mindlessly doodle things at the corner of her paper--

"Dawn, just go away. " Buffy snapped back with irritation. 

Dawn rolled her eyes and ambled out of the room. "You don't have to be so touchy. " She muttered as she left. 

"I'm not being touchy! " Buffy called back, but Dawn was out of hearing range anyway. 

She sighed and slouched back down, staring blankly at the sheet in front of her. 

"Hmm, " she mumbled, musing over the doodle in the corner of the page. What exactly was she trying to make? It sort of looked like a face . . . yeah. Eyes, fangs . . . Jesus. She had demons on her subconscious. Just perfect. 

She dully sketched away at the face, not thrilled at the idea of going back to math just yet. Made the fangs longer, sharper . . .

Dawn poked her head back into the room, "Buffy, when are you--"

She found her now completely enthralled in her doodle. She sighed and bounced back on the couch, leaning over her shoulder to get a better look at it. 

"Dawn, what are you doing--"

"What's that supposed to be? "

Buffy wrinkled her nose at her. "I thought I told you to go away. "

"Looks like somebody's been daydreaming, " Dawn said suggestively, grinning and wagging her eyebrows. 

"Dawn, I told you to go-- what? " Buffy said, suddenly connecting what her sister had said. 

"Oh, c'mon. Don't play stupid. " She said, nodding to her paper. Buffy just glared at her. 

"Out! Out! Out! " she shooed her off, which thankfully wasn't too difficult. 

She plopped yet *again* back on the couch, her brow furrowed in confusion. What had her sister been goin' on about? 

Glancing back down at her paper, she inspected the doodle she had been working on. 

"Oh, my God, " she said with disbelief. 

It bore a striking resemblance to Spike. 

--------------------------------------------------------

"That's it, Pet. Just a little bit closer, " the vampire muttered, proudly wearing his game face. 

Spike was in a dark back alley-- one of his *former* favorite hunting grounds for nights he didn't feel like doing much work. He would just sit here and if patient enough, somebody was bound to walk by sooner or later on their way from their late-night job to their car . . .

You see, this vampire had a test to conduct. After his miraculous revelation in the bar. 

And this young lady was to be his guinea pig. 

The brunette had a charcoal business suit on with maroon high-heels that clacked loudly on the blacktop as she made her way quickly through the alley. She kept looking nervously over her shoulder, obviously not comfortable with the location. Spike smiled from his vantage point. He missed this. The wait before the kill. 

The woman's shrill scream was cut short as Spike leapt out and grabbed her, covering her mouth. She struggled and squirmed wildly. 

"C'mon, dear, let's behave, " the vampire murmured assuringly as he tried to hold her still. 

"Don't make this any harder for yourself. " He said, in a slightly more dangerous tone. She suddenly stopped struggling, closing her eyes and shuttering in fear. Apparently it had just dawned on her that she most likely wasn't going to see the sun rise by morning. 

"That's it then? Suit yourself, " he said, disappointed that she had given up so quickly, but aah well. He lowered his fangs to her neck and hungrily sunk them in, as she let out another muffled scream. 

Ooh. It was heavenly for his sensitive canines to tap into a live artery again. He could still feel her pulse beating, reverberating through his teeth-it was so warm, so wonderful . . . . . 

Spike yelped in pain, jerking away from the woman as the electricity he was so familiar with now leapt through his body. 

The woman fell with a startled cry, and stumbled as she tried to get to her feet, moaning in fear. 

Spike had fallen back against the wall and he now numbly rubbed his temples, still wincing at the terrible pain that had just hit him like a bolt of lighting. As he tried to shake himself out of his disoriented state, the woman made a clumsy escape. 

"Bloody hell, " he cursed bitterly. What was going on here? He had punched that guy out and felt nothing. But now it was back again. 

Spike licked his blood-tipped fangs longingly. So close. Damn it. This didn't make any sense at all. 

--------------------------------------------------------

It had been about a week since Spike attempted to feed from the young lady in the alley. He had spent most of the time pacing back and forth in his crypt, thinking about things over and over. He hadn't been outside in days. 

But today he made his decision. Nervously drawing from his cigarette, Spike was pretty sure he understood things now. He would find out tonight. 

--------------------------------------------------------

Cruising a bar, a different one this time, albeit equally as slummy, Spike kept his eye out for drunkards. This bar happened to be a human/demon bar. He nervously flickered his eyes over the tables of vampires, trying to act inconspicuous. Not many of his fellow demons were fond of him anymore. In fact, they usually tried to beat him up or kill him. 

He decided to take a seat by the bar so he could sit and observe that way. 

After a lot of watching and listening and a couple of drinks for himself (hell, might as well), Spike decided to talk to one of the drunkards that seemed especially low and depressed. He smoothly ambled over and sat down next to the not-quite-middle-aged woman. 

She took no notice of his actions, too busied with the glass of vodka, swirling it dully with her finger. 

"Hey, pet. You're not looking so good. " Spike murmured to her with a sly smile. 

She looked up dully. "I'm not. " She answered simply. 

A few minutes later, with some smooth-talk, Spike had convinced the woman to step outside with him so he could help end her pain. 

"Now you sure about this? "

The woman nodded. "Yeah. Fine, whatever. Just sock me right in the kisser. "

Spike grinned. "Gladly. "

WHAP! 

As she toppled backwards at the blow, Spike howled in triumph. 

"Yes! It _works! _"

His theory was correct. As long as the person _wanted_ to get hurt, he could hurt them. 

"Want another? " he asked, grinning, waning to make absolute certain this was true. 

"Sure…" the woman mumbled, already halfway to being unconscious. 

His courage raising, the vampire gave this one all he got, completely flooring the woman. He cackled again. 

Then he hungrily grabbed the unconscious human and proceeded to sink his fangs into her jugular--

"OW! _Damnit! _" he spat, literally spitting out the human in his teeth. The shock in his head was there again. He shook his head, trying to shake the feeling. 

"All right then . . ." he muttered, starting to pace in the alley by the bar, scratching his chin. 

"I can sock her in the face, but I can't feed on her . . ."

He snapped his fingers. "Of course. She doesn't want to die. Just wants to get wasted an' knocked out. "

He looked down at her crumpled forum. "Thanks. You've been very useful, " he said, and smiling, walked away. 

-----------------------------------------------

The question was, of course, what use this new information could possibly serve for him. He went back to brainstorming in his crypt. 

"So, what, I wait for people in bars to get depressed enough to let a toddler beat their lights out, and then swoop in on them? Doesn't sound like the life to me, " he said sharply to himself. 

"Maybe I'll put an ad in the paper. " He said, shaking his head. "Feeling gloomy? Want to loose your soddin' life? I'll gladly take that off your hands, no charge. "

He dropped his used cigarette on the floor and stomped it out. 

"Atch, this is pointless. There's no use in hunting if your prey has no fear. This doesn't get me anywhere. "

__

Better than drinking your blood out of bottles, his mind countered. _At least you'd be feeding like a real vampire does. _

He no longer felt like a real vampire, no. He didn't belong anywhere. He couldn't hunt-- the sole reason for a vampire's existence-- and he had to avoid all other demons, his own kind-- and yet he most definitely was not part of the living world, either. 

The vampire growled, angrily letting the frustrated thoughts flicker through his head. Then after a while of sitting there blankly, a notion came to him. 

Maybe there was more to this than he realized. Maybe he needed to try some more experiments, memorize the limits and rules. Maybe he could find a way to twist and manipulate this malfunction or whatever it was to make it work for his advantage. Learn to live this way. 

He was gonna find a way to make this work, somehow-he really had little alternative. 

--------------------------------------------------------

Over time, Spike experimented with his newfound discovery, making sure to space out his 'experiments' over the course of a few days intermission so as not to draw attention to himself by his fellow demons. It didn't take long for him to learn things-- it was quite simple, really. He could harm another as long as the person truly wanted it. A person could say they wanted it, but they didn't really, and so it still hurt when Spike tried to pound them. Spike started to learn to talk to people and figure out if they were lying or not-- soon he could pick out the truly screwed up ones from the ones just having a bad day within mere minutes, by the blank look in their eyes, their total lack of energy left for life. It was pretty easy because those poor blokes reminded Spike of himself. 

But there was a catch, as he expected. Almost all of these people, no madder how despondent or pathetic, didn't truly want to die. They still had some scrap of desire within them to live. So although over time Spike was able to pick out his targets with perfection and whip the crap out of them, he could not, try as he might, find somebody sad enough to feed on. It was frustrating, but every day he felt closer to obtaining his goal as he got better and better at identifying people and manipulating them by talking to them, convincing them for his benefit. There were different degrees, you see, of dejected people-- of course, the worse off they are emotionally, the more damage Spike could do without harm to himself. Once he started crossing the line of a person's limit, he could feel the tingly sensation of the electric shock threatening to return. He learned restraint and would take it as far as he could, and than called it off as soon as he detected the warning. 

Each time he was able to get closer and closer to the bulls' eye. 

At last, one night he finally found what seemed to be his guy. Somebody with a true death wish. Spike got far enough along that this time he had sunk his fangs in and had been feeding for a couple minutes before the jolt came. Too preoccupied with feeding, the thrill of being able to drink living blood again, he hadn't detected the warning signs and so the shock came like a kick in the face. 

Growling angrily, he tried again to finish were he left off, but nope-- Mr. Chip shocked him again. He stomped off, bloodthirst still unquenched. 

Pacing again in his crypt, were he had spent quite a lot of time lately thinking about his puzzle, Spike decided that it was hopeless. He could beat up on already pathetic humans. Big deal. He couldn't even kill any of them. All this work was for nothing. 

As desolate as the humans he had been stalking the past few weeks, the vampire retreated down into the cellar of his crypt, and sat on the floor in the dark. 

Facing his little shrine, which he had to reconstruct ever since Buffy had punched him into it, he started to speak out loud. 

"It's all pointless. " He said, shaking his head. He hadn't been thinking much about her the past few weeks, which was probably for the better, considering how pissed off she was. He truly had hoped for being able to live a relatively normal vampiric life again. But he saw now how pointless that was. 

He supposed he was able to push his obsession away for a time because of this hope. Maybe Dru was right. Maybe he could find a way to keep this tinker-toy from stopping him. She knew so many things. Before, he had thought she was just being desperate and foolish-- no amount of bloodlust could bring back his ability to hunt. But then-- it seemed like he had a chance. 

Not anymore, though. He was never going to get the bloody chip out of his head. Never was going to escape it's burning, wicked torment. 

Spike mindlessly stroked a tattered photograph of the blonde Slayer. "Only you now, " he muttered. She was all he was living his undead life for now. 

--------------------------------------------------------

Buffy shuttered as a creepy, cold sensation suddenly prickled her skin. 

"What is it, Buf? "

She glanced at Willow. The two friends were on a "Extra-early-spring-clothing-shopping-spree", which Buffy had to of course do a lot of talking and convincing to drag Willow along on. 

"Dunno. Felt like somebody just walked over my grave. "

"That doesn't mean we get to leave early, does it? " she asked hopefully. 

Buffy smiled. "We're not through with yet. "

"Well, can't blame a girl for trying. "

~

"Moooom! I'm home. " Buffy said, trumping upstairs to her room with many bags in hand. Willow had to leave, but Buffy made her *promise* to actually try on the clothes she'd gotten for her later. 

Dumping her load in her room, she peeked out into the hallway. "Mom? "

That's weird. She said she had a lot of weekend chores to catch up on around the house. Wonder were she is. 

Buffy went back downstairs to pull a soda out of the fridge and glanced out the front window. Yep, car's still here. 

"Buffy, " Joyce said in a scolding tone, appearing out of nowhere, 

"I'd really like it if you let me _know_ when you take Dawn out. It worries me when you don't tell me. "

Buffy raised a brow. "But, mom, I didn't. I just went out with Willow. "

"Wait. You're saying Dawn _isn't_ with you? "

Buffy sighed, plunking down on a chair. "Great. Not again. " She grumbled. 

~

While her mom was checking all the usual places-The Magic Box, school, her friend's houses, Buffy didn't even bother with those. She knew 98% of the time when her sister ran off were she'd be. 

The one place she dreaded going to. And with the one person she really would rather avoid for the rest of her life. She had been furious at him and it had taken her a long time to just forget about it and assume if she ignored him long enough, he'd go away. Snap out of it. 

It had been a few weeks now, and she had seen nothing of him, which was good. Maybe he had finally given up. She really hoped he was back to his whiny, rotten self, anyway. 

Buffy laughed at that thought. Actually wanting him to be whiny and annoying again. 

The Slayer paused at the entrance to Spike's crypt. She sure as hell wasn't going to tap on his door and politely ask if he'd seen Dawn. There was only one way to enter his crypt, and that was the usual . . .

~

--------------------------------------------------------

It was probably around 6:00 PM or so, and obviously Spike was still asleep. Laying flat on his back on his couch, actually, with just a pair of worn black jeans on, snoring blissfully away as the TV crackled in the background. 

A loud _WHAM! _ announced the fact that somebody just slammed open the door. Late evening sunlight poured into the room, and thankfully for Spike, stopping just before it reached the couch. 

"Spike! Were is she? ! I know she's around here somewhere! "

He groaned, still just coming to his senses, and saw a very pissed-off Slayer who helped herself in and was searching the place. 

"Hey! What the bloody hell are you talking--"

"Dawn, I'm talking about Dawn, you moron. What do you think? ! Were is she? "

He blinked, for a moment still disoriented, but then understood the situation. 

"Why do you have to go an' blame me every time your damn little sister goes missing? She's not _here. _"

He shifted to a sitting position and fished around on the floor for were ever it was he left his shirt . . .

"You just couldn't stand another minute without laying eyes on me, huh? " he muttered, annoyed at being woken up, even if it was by the Slayer. 

Turned out that was a big mistake. Apparently the Slayer was not in the best of moods. 

Because the next thing he knew she had battered his confused ass to the floor and wood was threatening to bite into his heart. 

"Hey--" he started to protest, but she yelled in his face. 

"No! Don't you smart-allec me, _Spike! _You just keep your mouth shut and thank God that I bother keeping you around! "

He looked at her, stunned. "What? ! Keep me around? ! What the hell is _wrong_ with you, Summers? ! Why not do it, right now, huh? "

Her eyes burned malice into his. "I swear I would of, Spike, and I should of when I had the chance. But now there's no point. There's no satisfaction in killing something helpless. "

The vampire stared back and seemed to have an epiphany. He drew his fist back and punched Buffy right in the face, sending her staggering backwards. 

She recovered from the blow and just stared blankly back at him, a very confused look on her face. "How did you . . .? "

"I can't believe this, " he proclaimed, a smirk returning to his features. 

"You wanted that! "

She looked at him like he had just spoken Latin. 

"How in the hell did you just do that? " she repeated. 

"I did it, " he said, his voice dropping to a dangerous tone as she circled around her--

"Because you _wanted_ me to. "

He dodged as she made to kick him, and whipping about, landed a few more well-placed punches at her. 

She still seemed shocked at the fact that he could fight back. 

"Did you get the chip out? ! " she demanded. 

He smiled sweetly. "Wouldn't you like to know? "

This time she moved to avoid as he came at her again, and tried her best to knock him down, not yet making use of the stake in her hand. He swiftly side-stepped her and knocked her back, though. 

"Either you did or you didn't! Unless it's broken or something. " She shouted. He shrugged at her. "Tell me! "

"Make me, " he mocked, and she gladly obliged, driving at him again. 

After a few more moves, Buffy had knocked the vampire backwards onto his couch again. They both froze, staring at each other in a tense stand-off. 

Buffy decided it would be best to not make any hasty decisions on slaying a particular vampire, in case this was of interest to her friends or anyone else. "Look, I don't have time for this. I got a sister to find, " she said, waving her hands as if in truce. 

He glared at her. "This isn't over with, Slayer. "

She nodded to agree. "You're right. Not by a long shot. But now's not the time. "

And she turned and left. 

Spike just laid there on the couch in the same position, thinking hard about what just happened. 

Buffy wanted Spike to hurt her. 

She had said there was no satisfaction in killing something helpless. 

Was that it, then? She just wanted a good fight with him before she took him out? 

That sounded so cruel and impersonal. But Slayers don't usually work that way, Spike thought. They don't lust after violence like vampires do. 

Maybe . . .

He bit his knuckle at the thought. 

Maybe she missed the fight between them. The battle they had kept up for so long. The tension. 

The heat. 

He could taste his own blood as his thoughts drove him deeper and deeper into that little fantasy, that tiny shard of hope. Oh, yes. He was beginning to like this theory. 

He was going to have to test that one. 

--------------------------------------------------------

*She bangs, she bangs, 

She moves, she moves--

I go crazy 'cuz she looks like a flower, but she stings like a bee--

Like every girl in his-tor-ee. *

"OW! Hey, what was that for? "

Xander protested loudly when Buffy yanked his headphones off. She looked like she was about to say something, but then she glanced at the headphones in her hand, gave him an odd look and put them on herself. 

"Xander! " she gasped, tugging the phones off and holding them away from her face like some disgusting object. 

"I know you've been trying new things out lately, but Ricky Martin? ! "

He snatched them away from her grip. "It's the radio, Buffy. I was waiting for the next song. Now what gave you the right to violate my headphones? "

She smirked at his annoyed question, but tried to get a serious expression again. 

"Ahem, well…guess who's back in business? "

Putting his phones back on, Xander leaned back in his chair and appeared deep in thought. 

"Hmmmmm…. . "

"You're not listening. "

"Yea I am. I'm just thinking. "

Buffy sighed, not in the mood for games. 

"I'll give you a clue. He's a complete and total moron and I can't _wait_ to whip his butt down to Hell once I get an OK from Giles. "

"So are we talking about an utterly and totally pathetic guy or just a miserable piece of scum who hardly deserves the attention span to get killed? "

Buffy raised an eyebrow at him, confused at her options. "Er…. "

He shook his head, "Doesn't matter, both of those would point to the most obnoxious vampire on the block, am I right? "

"And the boy wins a cigar! "

Xander grinned. "All right. We should play this game more often, huh? "

"C'mon. We gotta let everyone know, " she said, all ready on her way out the door, tired of talking and wanting some action. 

"Hey! Wait for me! I'm sure he'll still be sulkin' around if you wait a few minutes longer! "

--------------------------------------------------------

Buffy Summers was pumped. 

It was Sunday evening, and unlike most normal teenagers who planned to see a movie with their friends or whatever, she was planning on a very special date with her long-time adversary . . .

A date consisting of her, Spike, and a very long wooden stake . . .

The experienced Slayer geared up carefully, concealing several wooden stakes throughout her body-- one under her sleeve, two stashed in the belt straps on her jeans, etc., and she picked out a few more shiny toys from her arsenal before taking off into the warm winter evening. 

She had informed the gang of Spike's newfound ability to do harm to humans, and the vote had been unanimous-- no need to keep him alive. Best to smite him now before he set about wrecking havoc upon Sunnydale, like he had proven to do so well in the past. 

Buffy had insisted on doing this alone. It had taken some convincing before the Watcher finally gave in to her requests. She had imagined this time coming for quite a while, and now that it was here, she wanted it done right. 

Most of all, _she_ wanted to do it. She had a seething hatred for the vampire and was looking very much forward to ending their battle, once and for all. She would pop in and kick his ass a bit, then stake him before he knew what hit him. 

Buffy put a spry bounce in her step and cackled to herself. It was silly, really, being so psyched, but she was gonna do some serious slaying tonight. 

--------------------------------------------------------

Spike knew she wouldn't rest long. Not with the knowledge burning a hole in her head that the vampire could now defend himself again and she had good reason to slay him. 

He didn't know when or were she'd try to attack, but he had a strange feeling of anticipation tonight. He just felt like this was the time. He was smiling like a Cheshire cat to himself as he readied for her arrival. 

--------------------------------------------------------

The Slayer's instincts kicked in-- _warning, _as she approached the vampire's lair. It was far too quiet around here. He had been expecting her. He would try to catch her by surprise. She scanned her surroundings viciously, not wanting to fall into any trap. She had to keep reminding herself he wasn't helpless anymore . . . at least, she didn't think so . . .

Finally feeling satisfied with her knowledge of the area, she slowly opened the door to his crypt. It was the first time she hadn't kicked the thing in and it squealed insanely, as if wanting to pay her back for all the months of abuse. 

__

Well, there goes my element of surprise, she thought as she gazed into the dark, muggy room. It seemed to of been lit by his candles for her convenience, as obviously vampires could see perfectly well without them. 

Buffy was growing more and more annoyed by how this seemed set up by _him_ rather than _her. _Maybe her stake-em-before-he-knows-what-hit-em' plan wasn't so great after all. Maybe she was a little too psyched over being able to fight him again . . .

But the musky, eerily lit room seemed to draw her in. She leaned in the doorway to get a better look-- aah, what the Hell. She cautiously entered. 

The air outside was warm because it was a warm night, and the air in here was even hotter. Buffy was glad she wore a tanktop even though that exposed more skin to get cut . . .

She rolled her eyes about the room like a hunter searching for it's prey. She knew he was in here somewhere and he'd be cornered. But it was a position he was voluntarily placing himself in. The question was, of course, when he was cornered, who it was more dangerous for . . .

"Glad to see you could make it, Luv. "

She whipped about to see him in his usual attire, black duster slung over a t-shirt, hands shoved casually into his jeans pockets. Jesus! He never failed to sneak up on her like that, and it startled her every time. 

She watched him carefully, trying to judge his state of mind. He was cool and collected, but a sly smile hovered on his lips, suggesting he was well prepared underneath. 

The Slayer juggled the long, wicked stake in her hand back and forth with ease, the weaponry her sense of authority as she faced her enemy off. 

"Just waiting around to get dusted, I see. " She replied with equal confidence, wanting to make sure he knew she meant business. 

He smiled. "Hope to give you a good fight for it first. "

"What're we standing around waiting for, then? " she yelled, taking his comment as her cue to launch into attack. 

The bleach-blonde vampire side-stepped her with ease and a kick sent her off guard. Buffy acted stunned, and when Spike approached she landed a kick right in the gut and came at him mercilessly with the stake. He had to be quick, or he would have been dust right then and there at the start of the game. The vampire had forgotten how fast and dangerous of a fighter she could be. But he quickly picked up the groove again of their old battles, attempting to battle the stake away from her, which she viciously defended. 

"C'mon, give me that silly thing, who needs stakes anyhow? "

He wanted this fight to last a while, not end after 30 seconds with him disintegrated on the floor. And that would require the removal of her precious device--

Spike kicked the Slayer's knees out when she was busy trying to block his punches, and the stake clattered to the floor. She made a grab for it but a sharp kick from him sent it flying away to be swallowed up by the shadows of the crypt. 

"You jerk! That was my best stake! " she spat, pulling another one of her wooden weapons out and leaping to her feet. 

"Oh, you brought along your _best one_ just for me? I'm touched, " he sneered at her. 

Her new onslaught of kicks and jabs prevented him from taunting any further. It seemed as if her stake was everywhere at once, always seeking his heart, and he always danced away in the knick of time. Here, now there, and uh-oh, watch your back! 

Whirling about at a dive she made for him, a hard kick floored her again, and this time he was going to take advantage of it. He came at her, but--

__

Whap! 

The beautiful silver weapon whipped out and struck it's target smartly across the face. Spike stood a moment, dumbstruck, then smiled as Buffy whirled the weapon testingly in the air, trying to decide which way to come at him. 

"Ooh now, brought along one of your toys, have you? "

"I think you'll like it, " she hissed, her dangerous voice blending with the sound of the whirling. 

The long, well-worn wooden handle had a thick length of silver chain attached to the end, providing her with a wicked tormenting tool. The chain hummed in the air above his head as she closed in. 

He ducked as it whooshed by him, and dodged again, and again, the metal biting the air inches away from him. He began to retreat as he struggled to keep from the chain. Wizz past the head, duck, now--

__

WHAP! 

The weapon left a cruel mark across his chest. He snarled in pain and instinctively grabbed for the chain. Buffy was already bringing the weapon back around and the chain dug into his palms but Spike gave it a vicious tug anyway. She circled 'round him so it bound around his neck and he spun to face her, tugging the chain he still held in roughed hands, attempting to jerk it from her. The force of this action sent her careening into him, and they fell to the ground, battling over rights for the weapon. 

To his surprise Spike managed to wrestle the flail away from her, and as they got back to their feet, now faced her off with the weapon in _his_ power. The vampire grinned wolfishly. 

"Look who's got the problem now, Slayer, " he said, spinning the chain in the air with all his strength, savoring the deadly humm as it sliced the air and the way it made his muscles shutter with the raw power. "You're right, I _do_ like this toy, " he decided. 

CRACK! Metal made contact with the concrete floor with alarming velocity, just barely missing Buffy. He gave it another strong swing. 

WHAP! The Slayer cried out in pain as it flogged her across the back, and she attempted to grab it just like the vampire had done, but he snatched the chain back before she could come close. 

"Ah-ah, " he said, WHHAP! , flogging her once more. A twirl of the chain and he brought it down again upon her--

She dropped to the floor and stabbed him in the knee with another stake, though, causing the weapon he had been spinning to fling out of his hand as he grabbed for his knee. 

Making use of the opportunity of Spike being at her level, she grabbed his arm to yank him the rest of the way to the floor and dug at him with her stake, but he backhanded her in the face and snatched the wood from her. 

Snapping the stake in two and tossing it aside, Buffy was up again and quickly realized that he had discarded her last stake. Her eyes darted to his upon this realization and he smirked at her. 

"No more toys now, Slayer. Just you--"

He shoved at her and admired her instantaneous reaction to block--

"And me. "

"Fine by me, " she answered tersely before barreling into him again. 

The two took turns exchanging blocks and blows, and this carried on in similar fashion for quite a while, the score evened now that neither had a weapon against each other. They just seemed too close in fighting ability to be able to tip the score one way or the other-they could of gone on forever like that, perhaps. Buffy was getting worn down, sweat dripping off her bangs and clinging to her shirt, but she still felt charged enough to go on fighting like that for hours. 

The vampire, meanwhile, didn't show signs of tiring, but had stopped talking quite a while back, his teeth now grit as he saved his energy for the intense battle. He was cool as a cucumber in the sweltering crypt, of course, as the temperature had no effect on him. 

So-- on into the night the two adversaries fought, each determined to outdo the other, but neither gaining any ground for long. The blocks and blows started to feel more symbolic of a fight rather than a true one, as they were hardly inflicting any damage upon each other anymore, able to guess at each move. 

But they kept at it anyway. Faster and faster, they battled in dangerous unison, until the movements were effortless, steady, perfect. Too easy. Buffy kept trying to go faster and faster, keep the vampire on his toes, but he strode to keep up with her increasing speed, matching it with perfection. 

They carried this on, unbroken and unwavering, and almost started to pick up a rhythm to it. The movements were fluent, almost surreal . . .

Buffy suddenly gasped in her mind, as if waking from a dream. What was going on? She felt like they were slowly spiraling downwards from reality, but why? Why was it that the harder she tried to thrash him, the more useless her moves seem to become? Panicking, she desperately tried to get a good lash in, a solid punch, anything, and found herself seemingly useless. He smoothly avoided them and carried on the pointless attacks. 

"What-Spike-" the Slayer stuttered between punches, confused. 

"What is it, Luv? " he hummed as they fought, a velvety sound at the back of his throat. 

She was unable to help the shiver than ran down her spine. "What's . . . happening? "

"What do you mean, Pet? I thought you'd have that figured out by now, " he purred, this time his smirk less menacing and more . . .of something else. 

"I . . . can't . . ." she pummeled at him, but he blocked each move and whirled about to counteract her moves again. 

"Just tell me, ok? " she said tersely, beginning to get truly confused. 

A swift kick and the vamp had knocked her off her feet again. He quickly grabbed her before she could fall and bringing his mouth to her ear, whispered. 

"We're _dancing_, Buffy. "

This time she did gasp outloud. Attempting to elbow him in the face, he quickly spun her to her feet to avoid the move, and turning to face him again, she saw him smiling. 

"How dare you! You--" she snarled, but couldn't stand the smug look on his face anymore and drove to attack again with renewed energy. 

The whisper had chilled her to the bone, and now she was furious. She was battling tooth and nail, flat-out by now, but it didn't seem to matter in the slightest. He seemed to be avoiding her with perfection by now. Panic started to rise in her-- what was wrong here? She was the Slayer! Spike couldn't just be better than her! He simply couldn't! 

Buffy desperately tried to finish the fight, panicked at the notion of being mastered by this demon. But it didn't work. He started to chuckle in humor, tossing her around, toying with her. 

"It's _not_ funny, " she growled, but it came out mostly as a growl so she doubted he heard. 

The more desperately she tried to gain ground, the more helpless she felt. Suddenly she noticed the vampire was murmuring as they fought-at first she didn't understand it but finally recognized some of the words. 

"Step forward, back now, duck, good, move here, there you are, sweep, kick, there you go, Luv . . . "

It sounded like he was directing them like a dance instructor. 

What shocked her, however, was that he actually was predicting their movements. Right down to the exact step. Even as she heard them, she continued to follow the pattern, as if subconsciously going through the motions. He kept muttering. 

"There we are, Luv, right, like so . . . come at me now, shift, move, and--"

He twirled her around again, nearly swinging her to the ground, and let her come after him again-- "There we go--"

The Slayer shoved him, her eyes darting into his daringly. "Spike, I don't know what kind of stunt you're trying to pull--"

But he ignored her protest, carrying on with his instructions as they fought. 

"Sweep, duck away, right left right left, very good, Pet-atch, look out now . . . "

Buffy ducked at Spike's warning. 

"Good, good-- move! There, kick, come after me then--"

Spike's words became a soft soothing background noise to their movements. They carried on like that and Buffy found herself tuning into them rather than out. She paid careful attention to every movement. 

"Move, block now, see it coming--"

She swung him 'round and used the momentum of herself to shove him bodily against the wall, winning an 'Oof' from him. 

"Hey now, that was a good one . . . " he muttered and shot out, shoving her back. 

She kept at it, realizing she could make some sort of progress if she followed the flow of the pattern rather than fight it. Almost as if he let her? 

"Ow, " she spat, as the vampire rammed her into the wall again. She grabbed the hem of his coat with both hands and swung him into the wall. He actually laughed outloud when his back struck the concrete again. 

"Swing, and like so--" Spike was still occasionally muttering in his thick British accent. 

The Slayer suddenly kicked out his knees, which obviously took Spike completely by surprise, as while he fell he looked quite angry, and he gasped when his decent suddenly stopped, as Buffy yanked him back to his feet to put him back in the game. 

"Look, I'm sick--" she grated tersely through her teeth, while shoving him into the wall, 

"And tired of you--"

As he came at her, she quickly knocked his attempts at an attack away and shoved him back into the wall again--

"Acting like you're all smug and in charge--"

He shoved at her, as if to return the favor of before, his eyes flashing and humming with excitement, a tiny smile of something Buffy couldn't place playing on his lips--

"When obviously you--"

WUMPH, he hit the wall again. 

"_Aren't _the one in control here--"

Growling as his head connected painfully with the brick, Spike used their close quarters to his advantage, grabbing her around the waist with one arm to haul her into the brick wall they were using as their personal battering ram for the night. 

"Umph! " she protested, as stars danced across her vision. She glared at her captor with feral green eyes. 

"So you can just _stop--_" she said, twisting, as the vampire's arm was still tight around her waist, and managed to twist the two of them around so now Spike's back was to the wall--

"Pretending, " the Slayer finished her sentence on a breathless note, as the motion had brought the two eye-to-eye, crushed against the brick wall. She slowed, stopped, stared at him. 

His voice came as a very animal-like growl in the back of his throat. 

"Who said I was pretending? "

Her mouth found his at once and she started to devour him, crushing his back mercilessly against the wall, tugging and shoving violently against his chest as their tongues tangled. He moaned, certain every bone in his back was getting crushed while the front of him was getting clawed to shreds by the Slayer, but he was loving every minute of it. He was burning, and everything was good, the pain as intoxicating and erotic as having her in his mouth, taking her in, tasting her, finally having her--

She broke the kiss and took a gasp of air, her hazel-green eyes darkened several shades in her arousal, but a hint of confusion shone in them. 

Spike didn't give her any time to think. He grabbed her face and started kissing her again. She responded immediately, shoving her body against his, desperately wanting all parts of herself to be touching his at once--

His hands, oh, God, long, slender fingers, slid up and knit through her blonde hair, as he moved to trail hungry kisses down her neck--

"Spike! " she yelled, but he mistook it as a cry of pleasure, when in fact it was a call to stop. He darted his tongue out against the oh-so-soft skin of her neck, and it was just about enough to make the bottom drop out of the world. 

"Oooh, " she approved, as her head felt fuzzy, senses overwhelmed. 

"No, Spike, stop--"

"Make me, " he snarled, gnawing possessively on the flesh of her neck like a dog with it's bone, and made his way back up to her lips--

"No--"

As their lips met again, her protests were muffled out, as she greedily took him in, like a newborn sucking in the first air of it's new life. 

Then those marvelous hands began to draw a trail downwards, sliding down her sides, along the sensitive skin of her back--

A sharp shove separated them by several inches, and Spike's blue eyes looked into hers, flowing with impatient passion and slightly questioning. 

"No, Spike, stop it, " she repeated, backing away a few paces. 

"I-I can't. "

Delicately licking his lips, he eyed her like a tiger might eye it's prey before the pounce. 

"Stop! Stop looking at me, stop-stop everything. I don't--"

Her voice was tiny, weak, the smallest shard of her logical, sane mind left, barely hanging on by a thread-- a little string fighting against the battering storm of her passion and need. 

He was advancing upon her, and she continued to back away in rapidly growing speed, only able to keep the still-unbearably-too-close space between them from growing any smaller. 

"Spike, I said _stop_ it, " she warned, but it didn't come out as threatening as she wanted it to. More like a mouse threatening a lion with a safety-pin. 

He made his move, and pounced like a cat, causing the Slayer to cry out in surprise. He had grabbed her, wrapping his arms around her neck, and she struggled and kicked back at him in weak desperation. Whispering in a husky voice in her ear, he answered, 

". . . make . . . me. "

A violent explosion caused the entire crypt to shutter in it's wake, as the noise echoed and reverberated in the hallow room. Both Slayer and vampire jerked in surprise. 

"Buffy! _Get away from her! "_

Spike suddenly found his world spinning down into pain, as an arrow stuck high in his chest. He gasped, releasing his hold on the Slayer, as she fell back away from him. 

"Bit too high, " he coughed out weakly, staggering blindly for somewhere to sit down or lean against, the pain hitting his body wholly like a rush, certain he would collapse in a moment. 

Buffy was so busy staring at Spike, who was blundering towards the hard wall, with an arrow in his chest and his face writhed in agony, that she jumped in surprise when Xander yelled at her, hurrying over. 

"Buffy! Buffy, are you ok? What did he do to you? "

Finally looking over to her friend, armed with an empty crossbow with a look of near panic on his face, she gaped, and stuttered, unable at first to form words. 

"Xander . . . I . . . oh. Oh. "

Xander quickly moved to grab Buffy before she crashed to the floor. The room seemed to be spinning, spinning . . . in the center of it all was Xander, looking down at her, concern glowing in his voice, although the words didn't seem to mean much at the time . . .

"Buffy? Buffy? Are you all right? Are you hurt? Shh, c'mon, let's go, we'll get you out of here, ok? "

She murmured, feeling her grip of reality slipping away fast. 

"I can't . . . believe . . . I danced . . ."

Xander squinted at her, and shot a glance over to the peroxide-blonde vampire, who had managed to slide to a sitting position, his back against the wall, and was nursing the arrow in his chest. 

"What did you say, Buffy? "

Hauling her up, he wrapped her arms over his shoulders so he could help walk her out of here. 

"C'mon, Buf, let's get out of here. "

The Slayer did not reply, only dumbly stumbled, allowing Xander to half-drag her out of Spike's crypt. 

----------------------------------------------------------

"What were you _thinking? _"

"I _told_ you, I was doing perfectly fine by myself! What did you do, _stalk_ me? "

"Yes! Yes, Buffy, I followed you. I was _worried_ about you, ok? ? I was just making sure you didn't need any help. You know. Backup? "

The Slayer sighed, nervously wringing her hands and she marched briskly through the woods, in lack of a wooden stake to play with. Xander was right in her wake. 

"And apparently, a wise choice on my part. "

"I-I was doing fine. "

"Were you? Looked like you needed help to me. "

She shot a glare over her shoulder, never slowing her feverish pace on the path in which she came from earlier that night. 

"Don't give me 'The Look'. I tried to stay put, I did. Even when there was a lot of yelling going on inside I stayed by the door and just waited. But then you sounded really worried, I knew something was wrong--"

She stopped short, so Xander nearly crashed into her. 

"You're-you're right, thanks, Xander, " she apologized, feeling guilty. Wow. A lot of feeling guilty tonight was in order, that's for sure. 

"Thanks for, you know, being there. "

He smiled. "No problem. That's what we're here for, you know. Being there. "

She nodded and continued her quick pace, nervously wringing her hands again. 

"Buf, you sure you're ok? "

"Yeah, yeah, fine. Just was a little-light headed, you know? I'm fine now. "

"Uh-huh. I asked because you're acting, uh, a little--"

She stopped again and her eyed needled into his questioningly. 

"Acting a little what? " she asked tersely. 

"Uh . . . nervous? Uptight? Spooked? "

She blinked, then nodded slowly. "Yeah . . . ok, " and turned to a fast-walk again. 

"Woah, hey, what's the big hurry for? "

"I sort of promised mom I'd be back for bed at a reasonable hour after torturing and slaying Spike, " she answered, very intent on getting home as fast as she damn well could with Xander tagging behind her. 

"Which you did _not_ do either of," Xander said, more as a question rather than a statement. 

She turned to look at him. 

"Yeah I did. I tormented him. I brought that whole metal-aww, damnit! He still has that, too, " she cursed, not really willing to pop in anytime soon to ask for the weapon back. 

"Anyway, though, I whupped his ass, really, was about to go in for the kill. "

"But I took care of that for you, huh? "

"Yeah. "

"Well, don't count on it. He was still there when we left. Solid and bleeding. Missed, " he said, regret evident in his voice. 

That annoyed Buffy. 

"Yeah, well, tougher than you thought, huh? He's a tricky one. "

Xander frowned. 

"Must be. Seems you're always getting chances to stake em' but never quite get the job done, huh? "

"Are you trying to imply something, Xander? ! "

He backed off in mock fear. 

"Woah, calm down, mortal human, not super-strong demon you're talking to here! "

"I know that, " she said, her patience down on the wire. 

"Just wanted to remind you. "

She sighed in frustration. "Look, are we done with the chit-chat? 'Cuz it's been nice and all, but I'd really like to get back before I miss _all_ of-of . . . ok, hell, whatever's on at this time of night! Ok? ! "

Xander had a funny look on his face, like he was confused. 

"Oooh . . . kay. Sure. I guess so. "

"_Thank _you, " she said, crisply turning and marching off again in a bee-line towards the "tranquil" streets of Sunnydale 'hoods. 

"You're, you're welcome! " he called after her. She didn't seem to notice as he watched her rapidly receding forum into the late night. 

"What's eatin' her? "

--------------------------------------------------------

"My God, I can still taste him. _I_ can STILL _taste_ the…DAMN…_bastard! ! _"

She snatched up her toothbrush like she was grabbing a stake for the kill, squeezed about half a pound of toothpaste on to it, and started brushing like there was no tomorrow. 

Because there really wouldn't be if she didn't figure out what to do about this mess, now was there? 

Now _calm down_, Buffy, and let's think about this rationally. 

Rationally? ! _Rationally? ! I HAD MY TOUNGE DOWN HIS FUCKING THROAT AND YOU WANNA DISCUSS THAT RATIONALLY? ! _

She coughed, gagging on toothpaste and spat and sputtered it out in the sink. 

Ok, girl, calm down, Jesus. He-he-he-ok, _how_ did this happen again? 

You wanna hear the story again? ! 

Oh, come _on_-

I don't know. I DON'T KNOW, ok? ! One second we were fighting, la la la la, everything was normal. Well. Mostly. He was really weird this time-

Something went _click_ in the young Slayer's mind. 

Oh! A _spell! _It _had_ to be a spell! That's the only logical, sane way to explain this all! 

She gave a nervous laugh out loud of relief. 

Yes, yes, a spell, of course. 

She gazed at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, with dark, wet hair and her crumpled white flannels. She had just _stood_ in the shower for about an hour, trying to wash away all evidence of what he-of what _they_-had done. Just shower it out of her damn skin, scrub every place he touched to damn Hell-

__

Ok, ok, calm down, she told herself, feeling her breathing increasing as she started to panic about it again. _It's all over with now. _

She rinsed her mouth and numbly climbed into bed, feeling really, _really_ weird to just get in bed to sleep like everything was normal. 

Like his voice hadn't just curled her toes and his touch sent her reeling on the throes of utter estca-

SHUT. 

__

UP! ! 

She turned over and burrowed under her blankets, nuzzling her pillow and trying in vain to dig away from the world. The thoughts kept buzzing above her head like a swarm of angry bees. 

She sighed, mentally willing her breathing to slow, her heart rate to calm. 

It seemed to be working. Just sleep-sleep it all away. 

Yeah. 

Sleep. 

Sleep and it will all leave you alone. 

Buffy's eyes shot open. 

__

She could still taste him, damnit! ! 

--------------------------------------------------------

She was breathing him; his scent swirled all around her like some invisible aura of darkness; his shadow engulfing her, swallowing her whole, and she gladly allowed herself to be devoured by this force. She was pressing him against the wall, so close, everything was so close, so…

She was grinding her hips against his when a painful jarring in her ear brought her back to reality. She sucked in a breath of air and opened her eyes at once, seeing her face shoved against a blank white wall, a light sheet veiling her head from above, early sunlight filtering through. The jarring from her alarm clock continued relentlessly, and it took a few moments for her to remember were she was. 

"Oh, " she yelped when her mind made the connection, eyes growing wide. 

Everything hit her at once; she was in her bed, shoved against her bedroom wall as crammed as possible, a terrible crick in her neck at the contorted position, as her pillow right now was straddled between her legs, half of the pillow case tugged off and wrung tightly in her fists. With another yelp she shoved herself back away from the wall, kicked the pillow away from her as quickly as possible, as if it had burned her. 

"No, no, no, no-"

She kept shoving away from the wall until she toppled off the bed, falling painfully to the carpeted floor, and just continued to shove herself backwards away from the bed, as her chanting picked up speed and volume-

"No, no, no, no-"

The alarm clock buzzed in perfect time with her chanting, and she kept sliding backwards on the floor, eyes wide in horror. 

"No, no, no, _no, no-_"

As her back hit the opposite wall she shoved against it, unwilling to tear her eyes off her crumpled bed but also unwilling to stop backing off. She stood up by pressing against it with her back for support, crying, 

"No, no, _NO! "_

"I will _not_ dream, I will _not_-it's not _right_, that's _it_, we're _done_-no more, and adios. Bad-bad, bad dream! Bad! "

She shook a finger at her bed, as if to teach it a lesson. 

"Bad, " she asserted again, much more calmly this time. 

Then she turned around to see her little sister standing in the doorway, with a bewildered expression on her face. 

The two cried in surprise simultaneously. 

"_Dawn! " _the Slayer yelped. 

"_What? " _she yelped back. 

"What. ARE. You. DOING? "

"I'm, I'm sorry-I-mom told me to come wake you up, you're gonna-be late for school-"

Dawn spoke in very broken sentences, backing off as she spoke. 

Buffy sighed in frustration. "Fine. I'll be down in a minute, " she said tersely. 

But Dawn continued to linger in the doorway, as if her feet were glued down to the floor against her will. 

"What _is_ it? "

"Must-must have been some nightmare, " she stammered, unable to help but say something about it. 

The Slayer stared at her a moment. 

"Yes. Nightmare. I'll be down in a few minutes, " she stated in a strong monotone, enunciating each word. Dawn bobbed her head in dumb agreement, 

"Kay, "

And scurried off. Buffy sighed, was about to sit down on her bed, when she let out a yelp and jumped back before she had a chance. 

"No, no. Still mad at you, " she told her bed, and moved to get dressed as quickly as possible. When she was done she looked into the mirror to ensure she looked…normal. She addressed her reflection in a very professional, or what she hoped to be, manner. 

"All right, Ms. Summers. Time to go to school. Yes. You're going to go to school, and not think about anything else all day. "

The little voice inside her head started to crack up. 

What's so funny? 

__

Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. 

---------------------------------------------

Buffy tried to hold true to her promise. She honest-to-God tried to. 

But drifting through her classes, she just _couldn't. _

She just kept worrying. About when she'd run into him again. Because, of course, she _knew_ it wasn't a question of IF, but of WHEN-and he always seemed to manage to pop up during the worst times imaginable, so she was pretty jumpy all day. Even though that was ridiculous, of course; he can't go out in sunlight…

Which quite underlines the fact that he is a DEMON, a_ monster_, and that thought just churned her stomach over and over again. She-she kissed a soulless demon, and she liked it. 

__

Ugh! ! 

There was no way it wasn't-it had to be a spell, it _had_ to be. Like, like before, when Willow and Tara messed up. Or maybe somehow Spike had gotten some one to do it. She shuttered. Didn't matter. She was just gonna flat-out avoid him for the rest of his undead days, unless he hounded her. Then she'd have to kill him, of course. 

Wait. Aww, crap. He can hurt people again. 

Buffy had forgotten about that part. How could she forget something like that? ! Crud. Now she really did have to kill him-and soon. 

The Slayer sighed, playing with the empty milk carton for her lunch. For some reason she didn't feel much like eating today. 

__

Not food_, anyway…_

Buffy cursed some things at the little voice in her head that I don't care to repeat, and then got up, grabbing the brown paper bag of the lunch her mother had packed that morning. Was sweet of her, she really didn't have to do that. Kind of embarrassing, too, that she was still doing it…

Tossing the remains in the garbage, the voice refused to keep quiet for long. 

__

C'mon, you can yell at me, but it's not gonna cover up the truth…

"Sure I can. Because there _is_ no _truth_ to cover up, you dumbass. " she muttered. 

__

Dumbass, huh? Who's the one who started_ it, eh? _

"Shut UP! I told you we're gonna forget-"

She stopped short when a few kids passing by gave her very weird looks. She put on her smile-at-the-stranger face until they passed, then muttered under her breath. 

"I really must be loosing it now. First _that_, and now I'm talking to myself. Great. "

---------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Buf, we're all headed down to the Bronze tonight. You should come. "

Buffy jumped. 

"Wha? Huh? Bronze? Oh, " she said, her voice growing small on the _Oh. _She had finally, FINALLY managed to take her mind off of-ahem-other things-for a good hour or so; she had been goofing off with Willow when they really were supposed to be studying, having little paper-clip bouncing contests, and other mindless activities, when Xander had popped by. 

It was as soon as she heard the word _Bronze_ that fear crept back in. She kind of was planning on…well…hiding tonight. 

"Yea, you should come, Buffy. I'll be fun. We haven't gone as a whole group there for a while now, " Willow added her approval. Buffy groaned, outnumbered. 

"I guess I could…"

"I'm sure Giles will let you off the hook for one night. Especially since you've been, you know, working so hard lately. "

Buffy smiled at her friend, letting her convince her. Yeah-it would be good to get out and just chill with her friends, it should really help take her mind off things…

"Oh, yeah, forgot about the whole slayage thing. Um, he might not let you after all. Considering you sort of have, ahem, a little project to finish up. "

"Project? What project's that, Buffy? "

The Slayer glowered a little at Xander. "I'm sure that can wait, Xander. If you really are as good a shot as you _say_ you are…"

"Hey, it's not my fault! You were kinda in the way at the time. Half-dead demon's better than a stake through Buffy, don't you think? "

"Guys! What are you _talking_ about? "

They both looked at Willow. 

"Oh, no biggie. I went out last night to kill-" she paused when she realized how easy it was to say. Just rolled right off her tongue. _To kill Spike. _For some reason that fact bothered her. 

"Our local Deadboy-" Xander finished helpfully. 

"Oh! I didn't know, you were going to-last night? All by yourself? "

"Well, yeah. I convinced Giles to let me go by myself-"

"But he's, he's not like your average vampire, Buffy! You should of let us help. "

Buffy sighed, rolling her eyes skywards. Was the _whole_ world trying to drive her insane or was it just her? 

"Kind of late for that now, Will. "

"Well, at least you're still here, " Willow said with a little smile, 

"Must not of went too bad then, right? "

"Umm…right…. " Buffy said hesitantly. 

"I saved the day, " Xander said, raising his hand like he was in class. 

The Slayer sighed. 

"You did? "

"Yep, yep. "

"We'll see you tonight, Xander. Gotta finish studying, " Buffy told him, with a serious expression. He grinned. 

"Uh-_huh. _Lemme know what classes you're taking, Buf, because I don't recall seeing any on Paper Clip Shooting 101. "

"It's a private group, " she explained, Willow giggling. 

"No boys allowed. "

"Pff. Typical, " he said before taking off. 

Willow clapped her hands together. 

"Yay! Tonight should be fun. We really should-actually work now, you know. I'm feeling guilty about all this goof-off time, especially since it's being rewarded. "

Buffy grinned. "All right, it's agreed. Goof off time for later, work for now. "

She thought about her cheerful words, hoping they held good merit. 

--------------------------------------------------------


	2. Part Two

**__**

Part Two

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

__

Let's fake an answer for the curious

Let's fake it all for the fame

They'll think delievering was easy

Living the fairy tales and lies, lies – Orgy, "Opticon"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

****

The music pulsed through the low-lit room in a rather hypnotic, enticing sort of way. The air was warm and slightly humid inside, and it was swelling with people, as usual; acres of hair or not-so-haired heads could be seen in most directions. 

Buffy had arrived with her group of friends a while back, and they had gotten something to eat and danced a while. She slipped away into the crowd a little later to sit out a song she didn't like and decided to get another coke. From her vantage point at a table, she could still see her friends nearby. 

Idly she swirled the red straw in her glass, shooting an occasional nervous glance over her shoulder, or jumping at the odd sound. After jumping for what was probably the thousandth time that night, she mentally scolded herself. 

__

Don't be so paranoid. It's not like he'd even know you're here. The chances of him being here anyway are-they're pathetic. 

Which she of course knew. But it didn't seem to help much. 

Jerking, she heard her name being called and darted her eyes about the room. 

Ah, it was just Willow, she was smiling and waving at her, and now Tara was too. Buffy smiled and waved back. She wanted to finish her coke before joining them again. 

Turning back to her table, still smiling about the _Come back to dance_ gesture Willow had been attempting, Buffy took another sip of her drink when his voice simply materialized from right behind her, 

"Well, look who's in town. "

Choking on the soda-pop, she nearly wet herself from the shock. 

Gliding effortlessly over, Spike perched on the chair opposite to hers, with a tiny smirk on his features. 

The Slayer had gone quite rigid, and just sat very, very still, her mind still trying to absorb the fact that he just sat down at her table. Spike eyed the splattered soda. 

"S'the matter, Slayer? Did I startle you? "

"What-what are you doing here? " she asked flatly, her mouth on auto-pilot. 

Spike shrugged, tilting his head at her in a very flirtatious manner as he spoke. 

"It's a free country, " he said simply, ironically echoing Dawn's excuse from earlier. 

She paused, her brain apparently stuck. Damn. Damn that slow brain of hers-damn how all she seemed able to do was stare back at him. Just stare at his face when he spoke. Trace his jawline…. his high-set cheek bones…his lips, still set in a little smirk…. 

Spike noticed her apparent ogling and his smile grew a few degrees. 

"S'the matter, never seen a vampire before? "

She jumped as if brought out of a trance. 

"Get out of here, " she snapped, finally finding her ability to speak again, thank God. 

"What? I just got here. Thought I'd join in your little party. You want me to get you another one of those? " he asked in that irritatingly polite way, motioning to her mostly-empty soda. 

"I mean, since I ruined your first one n' all. "

"Spike. " She said, and stressed each syllable-

"Go. A. Way. "

The vampire settled his chin on his hands as he leaned against the chair, watching her and seeming very entertained at the moment to just toy with her. 

"Mm. Now why'd you want that, pet? "

Buffy glared at him a moment, but he kept his cool blue gaze on her. He was watching her very closely-very_, very_ closely, in fact-just to make her squirm. And it worked. 

She was starting to get very ticked off about that. 

"Spike, " she said again, her voice lowering and growing much more dangerous at the same time, 

"I'm warning you. Get out of here. Now. "

"Ooo. Is that a _threat_, Slayer? " he practically purred, slitting his eyes in delight. 

Feeling her heart skip a beat, she grit her teeth, determined to not let him get to her. Or at least not let him see that he was getting to her. 

"Yes. Now get out, " she forced, her voice a little strained. 

He put a pouting face on, switching tactics. 

"Oh, c'mon, Buf, just wanted to hang around, have a few drinks. You'd let me do that, right? "

"Don't ever call me that, and no, I won't. " she snapped. 

He leaned in the table, violating her personal space. His face was now serious looking. 

"All right, fine. If it bothers you, then do something about it. "

His voice sounded frosted, cold, matching the gaze of his eyes. He was daring her. 

She swallowed on impulse, realization sweeping through her like icy horror-she…couldn't. She was stuck in his daring eyes. She…. couldn't…. 

"C'mon. Come out n' stake me then, Slayer. . . "

His voice rolled along like liquid. 

"Deck m' 'cross the room. If that's what you want, "

She opened her mouth to reply, but instead made sort of a squeaky noise. 

Suddenly there was a hand being waved in front of her face. Both she and Spike looked at it and followed it up to Anya, who's brow was scrunched in concentration. She seemed to be attempting to pick something invisible out of the air. 

Finally she took notice that they were both staring at her. 

"Oh! I apologize, if that was distracting. It's just I saw this tension floating there and it just looked so, you know, solid, that I wondered if I could just, grab it or something. "

Spike was giving her an exasperated look, and Buffy just looked confused, but Anya didn't seem to notice either. She just shrugged. 

"Well, didn't work anyway. Hey! I heard Buffy tried to kill you last night, " she said, pointing to Spike, shifting her conversation topic. The vampire gave an annoyed sound, but answered. 

"Among other things, yeah. "

He glanced over to see the Slayer's reaction, a satisfying look of shock depicted on her face. 

"Was just leavin'. See you later, _Buf_. "

He slunk off in a cool manner, Buffy's eyes following as he was swallowed into the crowd. 

She just blinked, an empty look on her face. Her mind was still numbed from the shock-it was like it had been stuck in auto-mode the entire conversation. 

He was here. Now he's gone again. 

"He looks very good for someone who's supposed to be dust. "

It just went way too fast for her. She had been afraid of running into him-and now-

He didn't even get to the point! All he had done was play with her head a bit. Jerk. 

"Shall I tell everyone you'll be off staking things? "

Buffy blinked, finally realizing Anya had been talking. 

"Oh. Uh, uh, staking? Why? "

"The vampire, " she said. "I thought you were going to kill him. "

"Oh, " she said, considering the blunt statement. 

"Yeah, um, I will. Just-not now. It's my night off. "

Anya nodded. "Right, of course. Just let him walk off. He'll probably feed again after his long absence from murdering, but it's not like he'll get that many in one night. "

Buffy opened her mouth to reply, but found she didn't have anything to say. She shut her mouth. 

"Oh! Xander's calling for me. I shouldn't keep him waiting, " she said, and simply walked off to join Xander again. 

The poor Slayer blinked again, and looked down at her soda. 

"Ok, that's just about enough confusion and brainfreeze for one night. I'm starting to feel like a complete blob, " she told her soda-glass. 

"So maybe we'll just call it a night, huh? "

The soda didn't have any objections. 

"Good. Ok, yeah. We'll just go home now, Buffy. Go and hide away like we had _planned_ to do. Maybe pretend this whole thing never happened. "

Feeling increasingly unsettled as her mind re-run her conversation with Spike through her head over and over like an old projection wheel, she got up and glanced over at were her friends were. 

"They won't mind if I leave early. I could say I just had…some slayer stuff to do. "

Nodding to herself for assurance, Buffy quietly left her table, doing her best to creep out unnoticed. She just wanted to be home right now. Yes. Home. 

Maybe then she can sort out this mess in her head. 

And, maybe then she could get Spike's lasering voice out of her mind. 

-------------------------------------------------

She was walking through the alley just outside the Bronze. It was dark, but of course Buffy for one had no reason to fear-after all, she was the Slayer. 

But the Slayer never planned on _him_ still being there, waiting for her outside. She felt the hairs on the nape of her neck raise, warning her of a demonic presence. Spinning on her heel to face it off in a fighting stance, her expression shifted from an apprehensive one to surprise. 

"Spike, " she said with disbelief. _Shit! _

He stepped out of the murky shadows of the alley. His voice came like cold granite. 

"Thought you'd be on your way out soon. "

She stepped back as he stepped forward again, the moonlight finally illuminating his features and outlining his silhouette. She swallowed, this time the reality of the situation able to sink into her brain.   
"No way, no way are you gonna start this stalking-thing again. Spike, I don't know what kinda stunt or spell you've been messing with-"

The vampire suddenly laughed outloud, genuinely amused. 

"You thought that was a _spell, _Slayer? Oh, this is _too_ good. "

She felt her face getting hot, embarrassed at the theory that she had convinced herself so well of last night. 

"Well, ok, look-I don't care _what_ it was, because it _doesn't matter. _"

"Oh, really. " He said, voice curving over the phrase, as he casually continued to advance. She kept her voice clipped and sharp, doing quite well to stay undaunted by him. 

"Yes, _really_. And if I were you, I'd definitely stay away from me. Because ever since that chip's been out of order or whatever, you've been moved back to the Bad Guy list, and _nobody_ on that list gets to live long. "

Just a moment or so after that statement, Buffy was grabbed from behind by a strong pair of arms, hands clamped over her mouth to keep her from screaming. She responded instantly, jerking violently in it's grip, and was surprised when she easily tore free. The Slayer spun to face her attacker-

And dodged as he swung, of all things, a baseball bat at her. Letting him take a few more swings at her, she then tried to kick the bat out of his hands, but he backed away quickly and charged with a yell. Buffy tripped the guy and practically laughed as she looked down at him, now sprawled on the pavement. 

"Are you _kidding_ me? A mugger? An average mugger for Christ's sake! "

She yelped in pain when suddenly her knees gave way to a crushing blow from the metal bat that she didn't see coming while she was addressing the sky during _for Christ's sake. _

Burning with anger, mostly at herself from being so stupid, she clamored to get to her feet, only to find the mugger had recovered quickly, shoving her back to the ground and raising his bat. 

He grunted with surprise when Spike had come up from behind him and grabbed at the bat, and the two were now wrestling over the weapon. Buffy winced in pain from her legs as she got to her feet as fast as she could. 

Spike seemed to be winning the fight for the bat when the mugger elbowed him hard in the stomach, and the vampire's game face slid on automatically as he growled in pain. 

The mugger tried to raise the bat again on Spike and the vamp knocked him in the jaw, immediately regretting doing so as the pain shot through his head. The bat thunked against his side as he shielded his head from the strike, and he stumbled, stepping back as the criminal advanced upon him again. Ducking a few swings, he tried grabbing the bat again, and the human twisted it violently in his hands. The vamp kicked at him in response-hard-and yelled as the swirls of fire shot through his skull again. 

Buffy had been watching, first fearing that Spike would snap the guy's neck right on the spot, but then looking more confused as the fight carried on much longer than it should of. Now she gasped, not able to at first believe her eyes-was the chip still working? 

The mugger was batting at the vampire like crazy now, and all Spike seemed to be doing was avoiding him, not taking any obvious chances for attack himself. Metal connected with his head painfully, and roaring in fury, the vampire charged into the human and in one quick motion, ripped the bat from his grip and swung it blindly at his chest. It struck somewhere more towards his neck and the vampire screamed as the electric punishment kicked him like a thunderbolt. He dropped the bat immediately and stumbled to his knees, gripping his head in unbearable torment, the searing lighting still sweeping through him in waves. 

That was enough to finally get the Slayer moving from her dumbstruck position. She pounced at the slightly confused mugger, but without a weapon he turned tails and ran like hell. She considered running after him but decided it was definitely not worth it, so instead turned her attention back to Spike, who was still clutching his head and cursing in a pain-struck voice. 

Leaning down, she looked at him with confusion, seeing he was grinding his teeth, eyes squinted shut, rocking back and forth slightly. 

"Spike? " she asked, still bewildered. 

He snarled in pain before barking out, 

"_What? "_

"What's wrong with you? "

The peroxide vampire actually whimpered before replying, 

"I hit the soddin' mugger and now my bloody head's exploding, Brilliant. "

"But-"she stammered, growing more and more concerned, 

"Your chip-it-it doesn't work. "

Spike gathered himself up, and attempted to climb to his feet. Buffy just watched. He slipped and she grabbed his arm completely by automatic reaction, and helped pull him to his feet. As soon as he was, she let go of his arm quickly. 

"It's-broken. I don't understand, " she said, her voice growing more annoyed by the minute. 

He took some time to regain his composure, and then spoke slowly through the throbbing pain, which was starting to subside. 

"I never said it was broken, Slayer. "

She tilted her head at him, as if trying to figure him out. Her mind had little warning bells going off-_Hi, Buf, we're still standing a bit too close here-_but she ignored them. 

"What do you mean, not broken? "

He didn't say anything, just continued to nurse over his sore head and mutter cursings to himself. 

"Spike, what the hell is going on here? " she demanded. 

"You can't stand there and tell me that. Last night you seemed perfectly capable of-"

Buffy stopped short, realizing she had _mentioned_ last night. Oh, hell…. 

He looked back up at her, with a mixture of annoyance and amusement. 

"You just never listen to me, do you? I've been tryin' to tell you all along, Slayer. "

She watched him expectantly, but he stopped talking. 

"Well? "

He sighed, shaking his head and regretting the gesture, feeling like a bunch of marbles had starting rolling around in it again. Looking back up at her, he clearly enunciated his words. 

"I can only…hurt…. people…if they…_want_…. it. "

She stared back at him. And stared. 

"What? "

It was sort of a tiny 'what'. 

The vampire gave her a long look, before answering, his voice tipped with danger again. 

"You heard me. "

Buffy was vaguely aware of the voice yelling at her, telling her that she should back off-they were standing face-to-face only about a half a foot apart. But she didn't want to be scared off like before; she wouldn't let him. So she stuck with her Slayer-act and kept her voice even and slicing. 

"Yes, I heard you. Now I want you to explain. "

He seemed pleased. 

"You want me to explain, huh? "

He moved to pace a bit, coat swaying as he did so. 

"You really need it outlined in black and white. All right, Buffy, fine. "

He shot her a daring look. "You asked. "

He continued to move, slowly circling her as he talked. She had to keep shifting to be facing him. 

"Chip works like this. I punch sumun' and it goes zappo. It responds to their pain-guess it picks up on it. "

"But say, in theory, somebody had _liked _the pain. Say somebody _wanted_ it. "

He stopped a moment. "Wouldn't it make sense that it wouldn't trigger the bloody thing? "

The Slayer swallowed, knowing she was walking a dangerous line. But she wasn't going to back out now. 

"It sounds like an interesting theory, Spike, but it's flawed. Why would anybody like pain? "

He smiled a moment at her, and continued to circle. 

"Sometimes pain can bring a great deal of pleasure, " he said fluently, enjoying how his tongue curved on the words. 

Buffy scoffed. 

"Maybe to some sicko. "

"Now, don't dismiss it, Slayer. Think about it. Pain…. is enriching. It…. can purify somebody. Purge them of all else; shed away old wounds and scars; refine them once again. It breaks down walls, it changes people. "

She fell quiet, listening, as the vampire continued to pace slowly around her, like a vulture. 

"And pain lets you escape. Pain can be a refuge from everyday life. When everything else can let you down; pain is one thing you can count on. It's this barrier you can slip into. "

He was running his tongue along his canines, practically tasting what he was describing. 

"And it's intoxicating. Illegal. Wrong. It's rich. But most of all…"

He now looked to her again, voice dropping to a reedy whisper. 

"It's dangerous. "

She tried to scoff again, but found herself unable to. His voice carried on, and seemed to of woven into her head, taken control of her. 

"Oh, it is definitely dangerous. And everybody gets a thrill out of danger. Cheating death. Why do you think there's so much trash on TV and in the movies, of violence and gore and _danger_…. people get scared, and they _like_ it. The question is, just how far you're willing to take it. Because the more you get, the further you got to go to get that thrill again. "

He had purred _thrill_ lovingly, obviously enjoying his speech, and now his intense gaze was back on the Slayer, as he stepped forwards towards her in slow, measured steps. 

"And I know not only are you _capable_ of it, Buffy, you _need_ it. The way you live life it's the only thing that's even capable of giving you a thrill, making you feel truly alive. While the other weaklings are satisfied with living their happy little normal lives that you try to fit into, you know it in your heart, that every _fiber_ of your Slaying-being calls out for it. "

She started backing away, her heart-rate well accelerated by now, as Spike closed in on her, still in those measured steps-

"Because you're _not_ like them, Buffy. You're much too powerful for that, too intense. Much too strong a creature to be degraded in that way. And the _only_ thing that's ever going to satisfy you-"

__

"Stop! "

To her surprise, Spike did halt in mid-sentence. 

"Stop it, " she hissed, "Just stop it. You're wrong. You're wrong. You don't know me, " she said, voice growing angry, but sounding very threatened. 

"Am I? Are you really that ignorant, Slayer? Am I wrong? "

He closed in fast on her now, and her back hit the wall of the alley. She pressed up against it, panic flickering in her throat, her eyes locked helplessly with the vampire's. 

"Then tell me, Buffy, " he hissed, 

"Do you feel it? The danger? Because I have to tell you, your heart's pounding pretty damn fast. "

Her eyes widened a bit in surprise. 

"Ah, yeah, forgot about the heightened senses, didn't you? Would you also like to know how much adrenaline is passing through your blood? How much…fear I can smell? "

She shuttered, but her voice, twisted with anger, persisted. 

"You're wrong. You're just a sick, soulless demon. Just because you get your yaa-yaas in twisted ways doesn't mean you can go around thinking-"

Spike finally went the whole way, closing the space between them, mere inches separating the two. The Slayer writhed against the wall, the breath catching in her throat when she realized she was in the same position Spike had been in the night before. 

"Prove me wrong, " he murmured lowly, and started to slowly draw his head down to hers. 

It was strange-about as much of her wanted to kick him away as she wanted to let this happen-but it took too long for Buffy to decide, so the decision was made for her. 

As his lips pressed against her own, it ignited that flame inside her again. At once she was surrounded by him again, tasting his essence, hungrily fighting to deepen the kiss-

"_Ow! "_

With all her might she had fiercely pushed him away, actually causing him to fall all the way to the ground. He glared up at her and she was giving him a look of pure poison. 

"Hurts, doesn't it? " she spat, spun around, and ran. Ran away from that ally as fast as she could. 

He just sat on the dank ground, watching her go, golden hair flying in her wake. 

"And that's why I love you, " he said quietly. 

-----------------------------------------------------

The black punching-bag took Buffy's torment, muffling the round-house punches she was delivering it. Over. And over. 

And over. 

And over. 

And over. 

She snarled and kicked it sharply, and kicked it again, and again, and again. 

She was sweating all over-panting like a dog-because she had ran. 

The entire way back. 

All the way to the training room-

And had charged the punching bag in frustration, screaming. 

"He's wrong, he's wrong, he's _wrong damnit! ! _"

Whapwhapwhapwhapwhapwhap-

She started hammering it with her fists and just kept going, drowning in her rage. It was taking everything out of her, and she didn't care. She just kept going. 

Her punches slowed, slowed, and she stopped short, leaning against the bag, completely winded. She felt her eyes burning, the tears feeling like acid on them. It wasn't enough. It wasn't enough. The rage inside her hadn't shrunk-it had only grown. She couldn't keep it up long enough. She could never pound it all out. 

Still heaving her chest for oxygen, she glared at the punching bag again, and a low growl escaped from her throat. She gave a shrill scream of anger and threw one punch at it. And another. She gave it a half-hearted kick, and then another slug, as hard as she could. It swung calmly on the chain, her blow giving her with burning frustration, _no relief_. 

She was panting, hands gripping her knees for support as she glared at the bag, still calmly swaying to and fro. So smug, so collected, just like him. Anger flared up inside her, and she screamed again. 

She punched it, taking turns with both fists, and backed off a little, wavering in her exhaustion. When she looked back up at it, it was still there. Mocking her. 

With a cracked scream, she charged the bag with all her rage, leaping and body-slamming the thing, arms and legs wrapped tightly around it, clinging to it, now hanging in space along with it. The black leather was cool against her burning skin. She squeezed the bag, snarling, trying to crush it with her whole body. Before she knew it she had started to kiss it, sucking the cold leather into her mouth, chew on it, claw at it with her weak nails, like a de-clawed kitten. She snarled, climbing up the bag in her fever, until she had grabbed onto the cold chain that it hung on. As the bag swung, the chains bit into her hands, pinching them painfully, but she didn't seem to care. She just needed-

"Well, I'm damn jealous of that punching bag. "

The Slayer went more stiff than she ever thought possible. Numbly she felt her grip go limp and she slid down, down, down the bag and then onto the floor. Slowly, everso slowly, she turned to see Spike standing in the doorway. 

God, you try and get away from this guy-

"Ok, you were _so_ not supposed to see that, " she said, beyond mortified. 

"Take it easy, I'm not gonna tell the world, " he said, smiling, and took one step into the room, shutting the door behind him. 

"And you _so_ aren't allowed here, " she said, anxiety raising in her voice. 

"I'm not, am I? "

"Don't you ever _quit? _"

He seemed to consider that a moment, 

"No, don't think so. "

The Slayer pulled herself back to her feet, aided by the punching bag, her eyes never leaving his at any one moment. 

"You got to leave. "

"Why? You afraid somethin'll happen if I don't? "

She swallowed, feeling her courage from earlier crumbling away. 

"Ok-look. I admit-"

She shuffled nervously, using the bag as a shield to put in between her and the vampire-

"Maybe…_some_ of what you said was right. But-"

She paused but Spike was standing there calmly, allowing her to speak. 

"But that doesn't mean it matters. Because it will never happen anyway. "

He smiled at her nervousness, and asked slowly, 

"_What _will never happen? "

She glared. He wanted to hear her say it. 

"You-you know damn well what I mean, " she stammered angrily. 

"Please, humor me. "

She paused, and seemed to be trying to force the words out. 

"You-and-and I…. "  
She stopped, the vampire still watching her expectedly. 

"Is it really so hard to say? "

Her mouth was still open, as if she was going to say more, but her speech seemed stuck. 

"Then repeat after me. You and I will screw like rabbits-"

__

"What? ! "

"-right here, right now. "

Buffy gave a laugh. 

"You are crazy, " she stated, for some reason his confidence unnerving her a great deal. He was just smiling at her. 

"First of all, that'll be _never_. And second of all, _here? _" she motioned to the room. 

He shrugged. "What's wrong with here? "

"Ugh! This is a training room…with-hard floors, and, you know…. icy, dirty. Everybody sweats here and junk. And the carpets-"

She made a face. "Carpet burns were you'd never everwant to get them, you know? "

He chuckled, 

"Sounds perfect to me. "

"Oh, _that's_ real romantic. "

"It's not supposed to be, " he said, no longer in his nonchalant position-he had taken a step forward, assuming a form that reminded Buffy of a cobra's posture before the strike; 

"Because it's _not_ going to be in a poofy bed with silk sheets and feather pillows, Slayer, it's going to be hard, and rough, and _filthy-_"

He had taken a step forward at each word and now they stood eye-to-eye. 

"And you're gonna _love_ it. "

The vampire was knocked back with battering force, and at first he wasn't sure if she was truly pissed at him-a moment later he found her crashed on top of him. 

Fire shot through his limbs as she crushed him to the floor brutally, with unsuppressed Slayer strength. She hissed in a voice not recognizable as her own-

__

"Then hurt me, Spike. "

------------------------------------------------------

"Wait. *Were* did you say she went? "

Anya sighed, obviously growing annoyed at how Xander seemed to care so much about were Buffy was. 

"Out to slay stuff, most likely. Or maybe not. She said it was her night off. So I guess I don't know then. Why does any of that matter? "

"_Because, _I don't want her running off and trying to kill that beyond-obnoxious-turned-killer again demon, that's why, "

"Oh! Well, you didn't tell me that. You probably want to hurry then and stop her. "

Xander blinked at her. "What? Why? What's going on? "

Anya motioned to the tables, as if it was obvious all along. 

"He was here earlier. Spike. That is the beyond-obnoxious-turned-killer demon you were referring to, correct? "

"What did he do? What happened? " Xander demanded angrily, automatically on attack-mode at the mention of the killer's name. 

Anya shrugged. "He was talking to her. Buffy, I mean. "

"What'd he say? Are you sure that's all? "

"I don't know. Oh! He did say 'I'll see you later, Buf. '. Yes, I heard that part. "

Xander raised a suspicious brow. "Later, huh? Ok, this is not sounding good. You _sure_ you didn't see her leave? "

Anya rolled her eyes. "Do you want me to make something up? "

"Huh? "

"Yes, Xander, I saw her leave. She went out the door and grabbed a branch off a tree to follow Spike and _slay_ him. "

"Anya, this isn't a joke, this is serious. If she keeps trying to face him by herself-"

"He's a _vampire_. You think she can't handle him? "

Xander paused. "Well, I think the longer she keeps him alive, the more dangerous he becomes. The more he knows about her. I mean, look what it's done to his twisted mind! He went around claiming he was in _love_ with her, for God's sake! "

Anya didn't seem real interested in their conversation anymore. 

"Maybe he did. "

Xander gave her a little glare. "C'mon, we should find Willow and Tara. "

The ex-demon sighed but followed behind her concerned boyfriend, as they poked through the crowd to find their friends. After a bit of head-scanning, Xander spotted Tara and rushed over. 

"Hey guys, " Tara greeted as they approached. 

"Tara, where's Willow? "

"Oh, she took off early, said she had to pick up some of her books she left at the library before she went home. I was gonna catch up with her later. Why, what's up? "

Xander shifted his weight to his other foot, glancing about the crowds. 

"Did you happen to see Buffy leave? "

"No. She was just over there a few minutes-"

Tara paused, gazing at the tables were Buffy had occupied a short time ago. 

"Well, she left. And, Spike was talking to her, apparently, just a little while ago. "

Tara looked at Xander with disbelief. 

"Spike? But didn't you-"

"Yes, well, guess he got over that sooner rather than later. I think Buffy may of decided that tonight was Round Two of the Vampire/Slayer Smackdown. "

"Oh. Well do you know were she, or, um, they went? "

Xander shook his head. "Nah. But I'm thinkin' it would be a good idea to find out. "

Tara nodded. "Of course. We should split up, search. Buffy could really get hurt. "

------------------------------------------------------

Willow Rosenberg scuffed her feet as she moved through the darkened library. It was well past being closed, but Mr. Giles had been kind enough to lend her an extra key-as she frequently had something she wanted to pick up there at odd hours. 

Humming not any tune in particular, she looked over the tables for were she had left her chemistry book. She'd been studying here earlier and the quiz was tomorrow-

"Ah-ha! " she said happily to herself as she spied the bright-green bound book. As she was packing it into her knapsack, a noise caused her to glance over her shoulder. 

Squinting at a door, she could of swore she heard something coming from the training room. 'That's odd, ' she thought to herself. Everything was definitely closed. 

She carefully approached the door and leaned her ear to it, listening. 

She could hear the metallic clatter of chain-the punching bag swinging back and forth in there. It always made a real loud sound when it did that, the chain was too long or something. And thumping-yeah, somebody was moving around in there, for a little late-night boxing? Very strange. 

Then she heard what almost definitely sounded like Buffy yelling-creasing her brow, Willow figured that made sense. Buffy did function on a different time-bracket than most; while everyone was in bed sleeping the blissful night away, she typically was out slaying demons…

Which brings up the question, as why Buffy was training instead of slaying at this time of night. 

Opening the door, Willow was about to greet her, when her yell melded into a little yelp of surprise and she shut the door quickly. Blinking, the poor Wiccan tried to make sense of the sudden image seared into her brain; 

Buffy kissing Spike? ! 

Willow paced in front of the door, trying to calm herself down. 

"Ok, what, what, what is going on here? ! "

"They're, they're, they're-oh, this is, this is insane. "

She stopped and looked at the door. "I should go in there and, and yell at her. Right now. Say, 'What on Earth do you think you're doing, Buffy? ' Oh, but I can't. That's-"

Willow paused when a yell was imitated from the room. Her eyes grew wide. 

"She-she could be in trouble. Yeah. Spike can, can hurt people again. I think? But…. oh, she better have one damned good explanation for me later, " Willow said, still indecisive as whether to intervene. She chewed on a nail, staring at the door handle. 

"No, this is ridiculous, I'm stopping them-"

Opening the door slowly, she was determined to yell, yeah, be a good friend, because he's, he's _Spike, _this cold-blooded killer, right? 

But she quickly lost nerve, and shut the door fast again in shame, blushing in embarrassment at the bizarre situation as she focused to keep silent, hoping they didn't hear her. 

Apparently they had other things on their minds, so Will was safe. 

Sighing, Willow let out a little groan, wondering what on earth she was gonna do. 

"Hey, Willow! "

She went rigid when her name was called, but she realized it was Xander's voice. 

"X-Xander? "

The lights suddenly flickered on, and she saw Xander standing by the light switch. 

"Willow, there you are. Look, we got a bit of a problem, " he said as he approached her. Willow shifted uncomfortably, back still to the training room door. 

"Um, ok, problem. Don't really need any more of those right now, but-"

"Look, me and the others-"

"The others and _I. _"

Xander frowned. "Hello? Big important problem here and you're correcting grammar? "

"Sorry, I'm sorry. I do that when I get all nervous. "

"_Anyway_…the others and _I_ are looking for Buffy, she's-"

"Oh, why, what's going on? What happened? "

"Maybe if you let me finish…"

"Sorry, yeah, finish! "

"Right. She left the Bronze early, and we're afraid she's not alone. We think she's off trying to kill-"

"-Spike! "

"Yeah. "

"Oh, sheesh. Oh, " Willow said, wavering, just a bit overwhelmed by all of this. 

"What? What is it? "

"She's, she's here! " Willow managed, nodding to the door. 

"See? She's, you know, here! And definitely not trying to slay Spike! "

"She is? " Xander asked, reaching for the door. 

"Oh, no! Don't _go_ in there! "

Xander gave her a funny look. "Why not? "

There was another yell from the room. 

"Buffy is training. " Willow said with convection. 

"Training? "

"Yes. And she, she told me that she didn't want to be disturbed. By anyone. She's, you know, deep in concentration…and junk. "

Her friend looked uncertain. "Why didn't she just tell us that's what she was doing? "

"Um, well, I think she's got a lot on her mind, or something. Wants some time alone…"

She started guiding Xander away from the door. 

"I'm, I'm sure she'll come to her senses anytime now and be finished, " Willow said assuringly. 

-----------------------------------------------------------

He was killing her. 

His body was on top of her, pressing down on her, and it was like unleashing a rabid animal upon herself. 

And liking it. 

Not just liking it-aching for it, yearning for it, crying out for it-every gouge into her porcelain skin, every shattering of bone, every gash across her heart-she lived in it, lavished in it, loved it. The fire was consuming her wholly, entirely, and she charged into it all-out. 

The two tangled on the floor, worshipping each other's bodies and then destroying them. A loving caress melded into a burning stab, a passionate kiss to marring and chewing 'till the blood ran hot. So desperate were they to get at each other, that they were tearing apart in the process. 

In the back of her mind the Slayer had taken note of the soft _click_ of the door from earlier, but it didn't make a connection with her higher brain functions, which currently were cast aside in the gutter. At last it bubbled up in her head, somehow managing to surface above the sea of passion for a moment. 

"Spike-the-door-"

She spoke between urgent kisses. 

"Did-you-lock-"

He never slowed his assail upon her, answering her question with a throaty growl. 

"The-door-"

He forced his way into her mouth, cutting off any more complaints, and she had no choice but to reply with matched force, a slave to her heart's own demands. 

She groaned from under him, memories of all the times they had fought each other rushing hot through her head, drowning her. 

__

You're beneath me. 

The irony of her earlier statement wasn't lost on her. As now she was, quite literally, beneath _him_. 

----------------------------------------------------------

"Oh, no, Tara, s'ok, everything's fine-"

"Willow, what's going on here? "

The redhead sighed, letting her head hit the table with an audible _thunk_. 

"You can go home. Buffy's…training. "

"Training? "

Willow winced as the muffled voices from the room because louder. She was planning on getting out of here a long time ago, but people kept _showing up_…Anya had arrived about as soon as she finished convincing Xander, and now Tara was here…

"Ugh. Yes. And she does not want to be disturbed. "

__

She's gonna owe me so big for this. 

"Oh…. kay. "

Willow pointed wearily. 

"I think Xander and Anya are still here. They were going to leave but Anya starting going off on how cool the dark building was, and…now Xander's an unwilling participant of a game of hide-and-seek, I think. I dunno, you can talk to them for details…"

Tara raised a brow at her. 

"What are you still doing here? "

Willow sighed. "That's what I'd like to know. "

Anya suddenly popped up from her position under the table, causing both Willow and Tara to jump. 

"Shh! Xander and I are playing a new game. Do you want to know what the prize is if I win? "

Willow shook her head, having an idea of what Anya would say. "No, no, that's ok, Anya. "

The ex-demon shrugged. "Ok. Oh, if you see him, don't tell him were I am. He's supposed to find me on his own, " she explained. Willow nodded. 

"Uh-huh, " she said, humoring her. 

Anya got a little smile on her face. "I keep switching places, though. It's going to take him a while. "

She shot a glance over her shoulder, as if hearing something. 

"What was that? Was that him? I should move again. "

Her eyes lit up. 

"Oh! You know, I should hide in the training room. He'd never suspect there. Yes, "

"Nos. Do Not Disturb, remember? "

Anya made a face. "I don't see what the big deal is-"

She didn't get a chance to finish her line of thought, as she thought she heard Xander again and ducked down under the table. Being as quiet as possible, she shuffled along the floor to hide elsewhere. Willow sighed again. 

"She keeps trying to get in there. Ugh. "

"Willow, why doesn't she just lock the door? "

The witch glanced over to the door, having already considered locking it herself. But she really didn't want to open it again in order to do that…

"Umm…because you would of yelled at her through the door anyway. Thus, still breaking the…peace. Or, violence, I guess, " she said, grinning at her quip, 

"So I'm, you know, standing guard for her. "

"Oh, hey, Tara. Have you two seen Anya? She-"

"-went thataway, " Willow said, pointing to the Non-Fiction section. Xander looked wearily onwards. 

"Great. Fine time for her to want to play a game, " he muttered. Willow murmured in agreement. 

"Tell me about it. "

Then she leaned back in her chair, Tara watching her with still some confusion on her face. Willow just sighed. 

__

This is gonna be a long night, she thought to herself. 

-----------------------------------------------------

"Uuhh, " Buffy Summers complained, her face straining to an expression of pain as she came to. Her head felt like an ocean of fuzz; it was pounding. 

Slowly she rose from the land of sleep, becoming more and more aware of her surroundings, but kept here eyes shut. Foremost on her mind, of course, was that she was really, really beat up. And it was hurting like Hell. 

Slowly she mentally categorized each pain, trying to figure out how much damage was done; gashes down her back and sides that were healing but still rather raw feeling, as if somebody had taken a weed-whacker and laid waste upon her body. What felt like bitemarks, ow-down her arms, her neck, even her face-they were aggravated by the sharp, cool air. A stabbing pain in her chest like she had been hit by a freight train, or had run into a brick wall or something, and lived to tell the tale. Hell, was that a broken rib? She wasn't sure. 

The Slayer moaned as she attempted to shift herself, setting several more gnawing discomforts into focus. Her neck had several kinks in it, she had no clue what was up with her heel, and Jesus, rug burns-

Oh. Shit. Rug burns were she'd never want them. 

The memories trickled back into her mind, unbidden. Of the most passionate, the most wild, the most insane night she'd ever had. She found herself wondering at first if it had even happened. 

But the torment on her body was clear proof, that it had been real. It had happened. 

Err…Buffy? Wouldn't that mean…you're still…you know…_there? _

Huh? 

You know…still in the training room. With Spike. 

Oh. Oh! Crap! 

Slowly, Buffy opened one eye, and then the other. 

She stifled a gasp when she felt somebody shifting next to her. 

Yeah. Um, still here. With Spike. 

She shut her eyes again, as if that would make it go away. 

But her mind, now becoming more and more conscious, wasn't letting her. She was starting to take notice of things. Like, the fact that she apparently had fallen asleep. Both her and Spike. On the not-so-comfy commercial carpet weave. With their clothes piled on top of them like blankets. 

And, it was probably near morning, as in, the sun rising. When things like schools and libraries open again. 

And, the door still was unlocked. 

And, she just realized Spike's arm was wrapped around her waist. And, her clothes were still on _top_ of her, rather than _on_ her…

Hearing Willow's voice yelling loudly from behind the door nearly freaked the crap out of her. 

"Buffy…. erm…. I know how hard you've been, ahem, training and how you don't, I mean, you _probably don't_ want to be disturbed…. . "

"But the library's opening soon and it would be wise to, you know, wrap things up in there. "

Willow heard a sudden shuffling from inside the training room after she yelled. She glanced nervously about the still-empty library, and to the old clock, which read 6:30 on the nose. 

"Um, yeah, Will, don't come in, I'll be out in one sec, " came the delayed and very anxious sounding reply, and then some more shuffling and muffled voices, of first her and than obviously Spike. Willow sat and listened to the conversation. The words were inaudible but she could guess at how the conversation was probably going by the tones of them. 

After a while, the voices fell quiet and a minute or so later, the door creaked open, with a very haggled looking Slayer's head peaking out. 

Her hair was a raggy mess, of course, and her wrinkled peach blouse looked to be put on inside-out. It might of seemed very comical, but Willow found nothing funny about it at the time. 

"Hey, Buf. "

Buffy's hazel-green eyes darted across the library and back to Willow. 

"Hey. Um, whatcha doin' here? "

"Well…I came by to pick up some books. Heard you, you know, training in there, " Willow said, nodding to the door. Buffy swallowed. 

"Oh. You did? "

"Uh-huh. And everyone kept dropping by, looking for you. Were afraid you were out trying to kill Spike, of all things. "

The Slayer laughed nervously. "I see…"

"But I set the records straight. Told em' you probably wouldn't want to be disturbed. With your training and all. Never fun to be disturbed or anything, while you're so, busy. "

Buffy nodded dumbly. "That is true. "

"So yeah, they're all gone right now, " Willow said, fixing her with a purposeful gaze, 

"So you can go now. "

Buffy gave a tiny, artificial smile, and glanced behind her shoulder, and back at Willow. She leaned on the door, looking quite antsy. 

"Problem? "

"Aah…no…. "

Buffy paused. 

"It's just…um, shouldn't you be, you know, getting' ready for class too? "

Willow smiled. "I already have all my books here, so I guess I'm ready, huh? "

Buffy laughed again. "Yeah, guess so. "

After pausing again, Willow raised her brows at her. 

"Better hurry, Buffy, sun's comin' up. Spike'll be stuck here for the day soon if you don't let him out. "

The Slayer froze, giving her a shocked look, not knowing what to say. 

"I, uh…. "

"Like I said. They're all gone. So nobody's gonna know you were _training_ with him…"

Buffy bit her lower lip. 

"Ah. Yes. Um. Right. We were…training. "

------------------------------------------------

**__**

Epilogue

Buffy slumped down in an empty chair in the still-silent library. Spike had just left (ended up having to steal a curtain from the library in order to go out in the rising sun) and she had planned on going home and…well, she had classes to be at soon, after all. But she just needed to rest a minute. She'd go in just a little bit. 

Willow had been hovering behind her, and now she took a seat opposite to hers. Buffy felt her friend's eyes studying her very closely. 

"So…. " Willow started, and the Slayer suddenly winced. 

"What is it? "

"Oh, s'nothing. Just…think I may of broken a rib. "

Willow gave an amused smile. 

"Hm. He's pretty rough, huh? "

Buffy nodded. She was gazing vacantly across the room. Truth be told, she was kind of in a lot of pain. The injuries were an undeniable souvenir of last night's episode-and she realized with an ironic smile that they probably had inflicted more damage to each other that night than in any fight they had been in before. 

It was so strange, though. She didn't feel like she'd expected she would. Not that she ever had expected to be in this situation in the first place-oh, no, no. Her head was still reeling from the fact that she found herself helplessly drawn to Spike, when just a few days ago if somebody told her they'd end up doing the human pretzel on the training room floor, she'd of died laughing. 

But she didn't feel satisfied or anything. I mean, yeah, it was good-beyond what she thought humanly possible kind of good-but it was only good in that moment. Once the fire burned out, all that was left was dust. 

She was only left with the memories, the sting of her injuries, and a gnawing desire for more. She realized then that it would never be enough. She was never going to ever satisfy that burning thirst in her throat-no madder how much of a rush he might give her in the moment. 

Even if she felt on top of the world for a time. 

Her eyes slipped shut, lost in the memory. 

"Um, Buffy? "

She jumped a little when Willow spoke up again. 

"What? "

"Oh, sorry. I was just gonna ask…um, how training went. "

She hesitated.

"I probably should…go. Get ready for class. "

Willow nodded. "Yeah. "

The Slayer got up carefully, not wanting to jar her abused body too much. As she was turning to go, Willow asked, 

"Wait. Buf. You, you planing on…training, with him again sometime? "

Buffy looked at her. 

"N-no. Not really. No. "

She took a breath. 

"I don't think it would be a good idea. "

Willow nodded. 

"Not that he wasn't good-er, a training partner or anything. But…"

"But he's…well…Spike. "

Buffy nodded to agree. "Right. "

"And it's much better to train with, with people. Safer. Smart. "

"Yeah. "

After that, Buffy walked out without another word, Willow watching her leave. A few seconds later, the blonde poked her head back into the doorway. 

"Willow? "

"What? "

"You _do_ know he and I had sex, right? "

"Yep. "

"'Kay, just checking, " she said, vanishing from the doorway again. 

"_Buffy! "_

"What? "

"Were are you _going? _"

"We'll talk later, Willow, " she called from the hallway. Willow sighed, letting her head hit the table again with a _thunk. _

It kinda hurt, but that was ok. 

-------------------------------------------------

E N D ! 


End file.
